Lamentations at Dawn

I was an early riser this morning.
Had some things I just had to talk over with God and they wouldn't wait.

Then in my feeble attempt at scripture study at that ridiculous hour, I stumbled across a passage in Lamentations. (an appropriate book for that early hour)
Here's my crack-of-dawn message from chapter 3:

When life is heavy and hard to take, go off by yourself.

Enter the silence. (I did)

Bow in prayer. (I did)

Don't ask questions. (I did)

Wait for hope to appear. (Forced to)

Don't run from trouble. (me?)

Take it full-face. (sigh)

The "worst" is never the worst.

Why?

Because the Master won't ever walk out and never return.

This is the part I really liked:

He takes no pleasure in making life hard, in throwing roadblocks in the way.

I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that God hears and answers prayers.

But I also am acutely aware that I don't know the will of God.

I'm always trying to find it.

I've felt most of the times that I'm in it.

I've known the horribleness of being out of it.

But what about when you need answers and are truly trying to do all the right things,...yet there are still no answers or clarity of God speaking.

Facing hard things when you KNOW it's God's will would be do-able.

But for me,.....

the confusion is worse than pain.

I think.

Faith, Faithful and Obey

Faith.
Faithful.

These two things are very different aren't they?
I can be faithful at alot of things but that doesn't mean I'm the least bit "full of faith".

There's been times that I've gone to church regularly for weeks, but have been further away from God than an addict on skid-row.
I was a "faithful" attender. But my "faith" was weak.

God expects both from us.

Another thing I'm dealing with is obedience.
Last Sunday morning, I gave a wide-open lesson of about 12 cool stories in the 15th, 16th and 17th chapters of I Samuel. Every one of them is huge and I have no idea why I crammed 'em all into our Bible hour.
The main point of my lesson dealt with David's anointing and how the new King of Israel went straight back to tending sheep. I just took the long road to get there! :)

However,...the next morning at 5:30 am sharp,..I was awakened by the thought (or was it a still small voice?) that to Obey is better than sacrifice.

You see,...in one of the passages I'd read to the teens Sunday morning,...,...there was an admonishment to Saul because he talked liked he did things God's ways,..but he really didn't.

Samuel the prophet scolded him and said "...To Obey is better than sacrifice...."

Saul wasn't "real" sinful,..he just didn't do all the things he was supposed to.

(just teasin,....God rejected Saul completely for his sins of attitude)

But here's the deal,...I didn't spend any time at all on that particular passage because I was zooming to David's anointing.

I wasn't the least bit convicted of that passage on Sunday.

Hebrews 4: 12 talks about "...the Word of God is living and active,.." and I'm telling ya,..I've been reminded!

I think God spoke to me early Monday morning through Samuel the prophet!

(don't be jealous)

He just woke me right up and reminded me that I talk about reading God's word,..but I'm not faithful at all.

Just like Saul.

Pain Changes Us

I spent some time today speaking today with a friend who has undergone immense trouble recently.
I am not sure what she was like before her pain,..but she is sure an amazing woman now.
Fearless.
Impetuous.
Refreshingly honest.
Tender.
Godly.
Hysterically funny.
Compassionate.
Lit flat up for God.


You know that phrase "what doesn't kill ya will make you stronger"?
Well,..I don't always agree with it.
I can think of some who aren't stronger because of the terrible things they've endured.
No judgement from me in their regards,...but I take issue with the assumption that pain always strengthens.
Does pain change everyone?
Yep.
That I would agree with 100%.

God pretty much guarantees His followers pain.
"Count on it" He says. (too many scriptures to list)
I'm sure His disciples thought to themselves the same thing I have grappled with even today.
What kind of crazy plan is that?
God wants me to be more like Him but part of that process is to....hurt?

I don't know about you,...but I really don't remember that being part of my alter call. Maybe they explained it to me but "Taking up my cross" didn't mean much to me at 15 years old.

I'm going to start actively teaching my daughters and teenagers at church differently.

Hopefully, I will embrace the idea even as I recoil from it.

God-followers are refined in a variety of ways,..but nothing has purified me like the pain.

Obscurity Is A Myth

Just this past week, I enjoyed a week of being alone in my home.

Ralph and both girls went to church camp (2 chaperone's, 1 camper) in South Carolina, and I had a great time all by myself. The bad thing however, is that at night time, I am not used to being alone in the old creaky house with multiple doors, hallways and rooms.

I found myself wishing for company.

Got that old 25 caliber pistol and put it on the nightstand, but it's not something that actually inspires a good night's sleep.

(I especially hate it when my hairy daughter stands on the edge of the bed in the middle of the night and softly "woofs".)

After our summer campers got home from their church camp, they were exhuasted and were desperate to get home so I volunteered to clean the church van.

That

was

before

I

looked

inside.

The next night, I drove it home from the church parking lot and opened the doors:
At least 25 bottles of half empty bottles, hair doo-dads, wet towels, 3 dirty socks, 1 tennis shoe, a pair of soured wet swim trunks, 15-20 ink pens, multiple bags of cheezits and an opened box of cocoa-puffs (thank you Abby) which emptied and sent 50,000 of them rolling to the front of the van every time the brakes were hit and then rolled to the back on each acceleration.

All the way to South Carolina and back.

As I cleaned the van last night in 100 degree heat/humidity, I was feeling pretty alone.

Whine whine whine

pant pant pant pant

Ggrrrrr

According to the dictionary,
"Obscure" means "..unknown, unimportant or having no meaning..."

But according to 2 Chronicles 16:9, God's eyes are constantly searching to make us strong in every job if our heart is right.

My heart...not my activity.

Is anything obscure in a life of following God?

Part of me is uneasy with the idea that I'm truly never alone and God and Heaven's occupants are always watching me.

Remember that I think Earth is a stage.

But I'm also inspired by the idea that every moment matters to Him.

To God, there are no obscure followers.

That thought, friend, made me feel better last night as I washed the

Bayou Meto Baptist church van in the dark.

Conflict

I have spent a great deal of time and energy lately trying to change things that are uncomfortable for me.

God has given me a particular set of talents, preferences and gifts and I tend to think that I am supposed to "exercise" those most (or all?) of the time.
When I find myself thwarted, frustrated, stifled or useless, I tend to think that I need to
do something.
Fix it!
Change the circumstances.
Solve the problem.
Make myself feel better.

All throughout scripture however, I find that that the hard things we go through can produce the very characteristics which make us much more useful to God.

sigh.

The conflict is the point?
The discomfort is the plan?
The confusion is actually the path?

That's not the popular view of God.
I am no theologian, but I am saying that God seems to work this way in my life.


Dear Lord of my life, I am blessed beyond measure.
Help me Lord to exercise the Faith I know to be sure.
Help me to remember that Your priorities are to be mine in any decision made.
Visiting gravesides of my loved ones, I am reminded of what's important in life.
Peace Lord! Peace!
Keep my eyes on Heaven and my perspective on the Eternal.

No More Lukewarm

I would love to be a late sleeper, but that's usually not possible for me these days. However, one thing which brings me encouragement at the wicked wicked hour of 5:30 am is listening to David Jeremiah's preaching.
These past few days, David has been teaching about the 7 churches listed in the book of Revelation.
These churches are described as
loveless (Ephesus)
persecuted (Smyrna)
compromising (Pergamos)
corrupt (Thyratira)
dead (Sardis)
faithful (Phildelphia)
and
lukewarm (Laodiceans)

Of that list, the negative ones seem pretty bad: Compromising? Corrupt? Dead?
Where does "Lukewarm" fit?

I wrote about it here once.

THAT church (person?) is where God levels His harshest words.

According to scripture, the lukewarm group of people is the type of church body which actually makes God sick and ready to throw-up!

I remember when I was deeply under the weight of grief, I began to experience more passion for God than I had ever felt in my life. If you know my testimony, you know my spiritual struggles were huge. But even in the middle of my questions and deep ponders, I developed a passion for knowing and following God that I had never experienced before.

Why O why does that kind of passion and purpose have to come at such expense?

I am often afraid that I will go back to my old lukewarm days.
But here's the deal,..I would have never considered myself lukewarm.

Lukewarm is a mixing of Hot and Cold.
A mixture of God and the world?
A mixture of Godly behaviors but no genuine love?
Heaven bound but embracing this world?
Surrounded by the dying and never sharing hope?
Waking up every morning with a long "to-do" list while eternal matters are neglected?
I know from experience that lukewarm people often don't know they are in danger of making God sick.

Luke 12:34 say: For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.

I have such treasure in Heaven.
I will never be the same.

The Shepherd and Sheep

A few years ago we had a herd of sheep.
The idea was to get the girls involved in 4-H.
It was a good idea.
We never went to a single 4-H meeting.

However,...my sheep stories and lessons number in the hundreds. I can not describe how the Bible came alive for our family as we made a stab at being shepherds.

There was Adam. And as his name suggests,..he was our first male.
He was big, lumbering and quiet. Sometimes he was mean and sneaky. We used to think Adam was useless to our 5 ewes, but a year later they all had twins.
Go Adam.


Then there was Friendly. A good momma to her lambs. Friendly ate out the girls hands, let us pet her and even ride her. Sweet and trusting. When she lost her lambs,..we always knew it. She would be forlorn and inconsolable. I think of her often and now know why she cried all day and night. I couldn't hardly sleep listening to her bleat on those terrible nights.

Meet Crazy. She was skittish, irritable and would run right over her lambs in fear. A leaf would fall off a nearby tree and Crazy would tear off frantic down the hill. She always frustrated us, mostly because of her poor mothering skills. Sometimes she bumped us in the butt when we passed her by. We would turn around to see her cowering in the corner like we were going to hit her. ?

Introducing Timmy. He was our first lamb that lived to sheep adulthood. Timmy's problem was that, as a lamb, he was viciously mauled by a neighbor dog which left him emotionally scarred for the rest of his life. In spite of his physical strength,..he was a major wimp.

Once, a group of dogs chased and scattered our beloved sheep from one end of the farm to the other. Over the next couple of hours,..we gathered them all up, but couldn't find Timmy. We searched high and low but assumed he had been dragged off to his death.

The next day,..we continued our search and finally found him lying under the edge of the little barn panting, filthy and near deaths door.

As we began to treat his thirst, remove the briers and debris from his wool and comfort him, we also began to search for his injuries.
To our surprise,..he had none. Not a single scratch or bite.
We think Timmy became so scared during the chase that he simply gave up fighting and running.

He chose instead to lay down and die.

It's a good thing for Timmy that he was loved. We loved, coddled and coaxed him back to life and within a few hours, he was back grazing among his sheep family.

Our family's few years as shepherds made us all know why Jesus referred to us as His sheep. It may not seem like a compliment for us,..but the description says much about the shepherd's great love and understanding.

I'm grateful to be so known and loved.
God loves me when I'm good and friendly.
But God loves me as I run in fear, cower in corners, do my share of butt-bumpin, act mean and sneaky and cry through the night.
God especially loves to pull me out from under my issues and coax me back into into the life He wants for me.

"The Lord is my Shepherd, I shall not want"(NKJV)
"The Lord is my Shepherd,I shall not be in want (NIV)
"With God as my Shepherd, I don't need a thing" (The MSG)

Passionate Patience

II Timothy talked to me the other day about perseverance.
Occasionally, when I read a passage of scripture, I search the same passage in another translation for a different perspective. The Message translated "perseverance" into a phrase called "passionate patience".


Well Well Well.


What pray tell do I need to be passionate about in regards to my patience?

My job.
My church.
My daughters.
Myself.
My electric blanket which apparently is not one of those blankets with a brain.
My computer keyboard which prints an "i" only about half the time I hit it.
My job.
Some people.
Some other people.
One other person.
Myself.
My new TV remote.
Abby's cleaning abilities.
My kitchen faucet which sprays water 180 degrees out.
My clothes dryer which dries on every setting at 895 degrees.
My washing machine which just might walk around the utility room when it spins a load of towels.
The defroster on my car. I have 185,000 miles on that thing and still can't work the stupid defroster.
My outside dog which will kills every attractive flower and plant in my yard but protects the weeds and poison ivy.

Greg Long has a song entitled "In The Waiting" and when I hear it I know that Greg has also wrestled with this waiting business.
Here's some of his words:

Pain.
The gift nobody longs for,.... still it comes.
and somehow leaves us stronger when it goes away.
It seems the hardest part is waiting on You
when all I really want is just to see Your hand move.

I want a peace beyond my understanding.
I wanna feel it fall like rain in the middle of my hurting
I wanna feel Your arms as they surround me
and let me know that it's OK.
To be here in this pain
resting in the peace that only comes in the waiting.

Peace?
Passion?
Patience?
Perseverance?
How about,....pitiful?

It's a great thing that He is strong when I am weak.
It's a great thing His mercies are new every morning.
I'm so glad He loves me and knows my heart.

Cardiac Rehab

In the summer of 2006, I entered a unit for the first time and had a conversation with the supervisor of the North Little Rock (Baptist) Cardiac Rehab department. I knew nothing about Cardiac Rehab, but was fascinated by their 12 hr/day work schedule....off every Tuesday, Friday, Saturday and Sunday!
At that particular moment in my life, I needed time.
I wanted to be more available to help mom take care of daddy.
I wanted to devote more time to Jae's scholarship.
I wanted to be spend more time with Ralph, Casey and Abby.
I also was desperate to write.
The schedule was near perfect.

I knew the unit supervisor, Glen, through mutual friends and by professional reputation. I didn't request an interview with him but just busted into the unit unannounced and asked him if I would like it there. (!)
I recall telling him that I needed a job which made a difference in people's lives.
I wanted a job that "mattered".
Glen assured me that Cardiac Rehab was indeed life changing.

You see, at that moment in my life, I was still very broken.
Jae had been gone about 15 months and I felt very distracted. I was still doing the daily crying thing, I struggled with the frequent sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach but it appeared on the surface as if I was coping well with the grief.

I also remember at that time in my journey, that one of my survival techniques was to try to encourage other people.
NOT because I was good-hearted, no! no!.....I did it because it made me feel better.
Selfishness...pure and simple.
As I entered Cardiac Rehab that day in 2006, I had this crazy hope that I could make a difference in other people lives while dulling the ache within my own.

The job turned out to be everything I needed it to be.
No kidding,...going to work each day felt like I was going to a 12 hour church social.
In the North Little Rock Cardiac Rehab, hugs are given freely all day long.
Loud laughter abounds.
I know all about my patients children and grandchildren and they know about my girls.
I get to use my spiritual and professional gift of mercy and my patients in turn shower me with affection and affirmation.
I've been part of a staff which has assisted in identifying many life threatening conditions.
Each member of our small team (of 6) is a strong believer in Christ, but our differences are ridiculously huge.

For the hundreds of patients who have passed through our doors during the past 3 and 1/2 years, I think we have been an unusual mix of health care and entertainment. Not because we are especially talented, but because we quickly discovered that we deeply loved working together.
And.....we also deeply loved caring for our patients.

In two days, I will be walking away from this job that I love.
Our hospital is cutting it's services and we are being downsized.
Financially we are not lucrative, therefore our outcomes don't really matter.
(Health care 101. Don't get me started)

Where will I go? I'm not exactly sure.
But I can tell you that 3 1/2 years in a Cardiac Rehab has been just what this broken-hearted mom needed. Most patients complete the program in 8-12 weeks. It took this nurse a bit longer.

Cardiac Rehab for me.
Is God's plan not amazing?

Weak vs Strong

Ouch!
I'm convicted.....my morning devo was Romans 14.

In these verses, Paul begs his friends in the church of Rome to stop nit-picking over rules and customs!
He reminds them to focus on each other hearts and souls.
He tells them to concentrate on the Kingdom and work of God.
In this chapter, Paul kinda implies that it is the weak Christians who are actually strong in their freedom.
But then he encourages the more mature believers to continue to walk in knowledge.

Personally, one of my weaknesses is that I am way too sensitive about criticisms of teenagers. I will bow up fast whenever someone stereotypes the younger generation into something negative. (for example,..my last post)

I believe that's what Paul was referring to as a "stumbling block".

The word of God is living and active, sharper than any two-edged sword and regularly pierces Becky at her breakfast table.
(my version)

Our Youngest And Our More Mature

I am a million year volunteer at our church, but Levi is our "official" paid church youth minister. He does a fantastic job in spite of his hectic schedule and life,..married and raising a 1 year old, working two jobs and going to school!
He has chosen Romans 12:1-2 for our youth to focus on this semester: (you know this verse)
I beseech you therefore, by the mercies of God, that you present your bodies a living sacrifice, holy, acceptable to God which is your reasonable service. And do not be conformed to this world but be transformed by the renewing of your mind so that you may prove what is that good and acceptable and perfect will of God.

Ya know,...this culture is hard on our young brothers and sisters in Christ.
They live and exist in a cesspool of promiscuity, drugs, profanity and broken spirits. They walk the halls, sit in class and eat at the lunch table with un-churched kids who have never even heard of the joy of a life in Christ.
Christan teenagers are in a minority.
To attend church is a rarity in most teen groups, and to have teens who attend regularly and more than once a week is almost against all odds.

Hang on to your computer chairs friends, 'cause I'm fixin to rant.
Not about any one person, 'cause I don't know who "they" are.
But I'm hacked off,.HACKED OFF I say! at the more "spiritually mature" group of people in some of our churches.
I have two girls in our little youth group who have been working hard each Sunday morning to assist in leading worship. They are both beginning guitar players and the songs they are asked to play are not always easy. The music is not exactly their type,..as they usually don't play the guitar to "We'll work til Jesus comes", but they are eager and they are faithful.
Our worship leader is very encouraging, affirming and the girls are having a great time in their new roles.

Recently "someone" mentioned one of the girls was wearing a short skirt.
OK. Fine.
I agree.
I spoke with the two girls about how you can not wear short skirts on a stage.
You can see things which are not supposed to be seen, not to mention we don't want people staring at legs when we are trying to point them towards worship of the Most High God.
The girls agreed too.

"They need to smile more!" many people in the congregation have mentioned.
OK. Fine.
I spoke with the two guitar players and they agreed that "countenance" is important. However, they said, it's hard to stand up in front of everyone, sing, try to hit the right chords and smile all at the same time.
Watch all other guitar players.
Do they smile?
(no they do not)

Last Sunday night, the girls led the worship by themselves!
Woo Hoo!
Several people in the congregation complimented them and for that, I am appreciative.
Several, however, were supposedly "bothered" that the girls were leading, one in knee length shorts and the other with holes in their jeans.

Not respectful?
Do I really think God is offended and feeling disrespected because of shorts and jeans with holes? Is that His rule?
Can I ask "Who are the mature ones here"?!
Why do some people treat their youngest, strongest brothers and sisters this way and then wonder why the kids don't stay in the church?
For me personally, I can hear 100 compliments and 1 criticism,..but which remark do you think stays in my head the longest?
How much more so for our dedicated, but insecure, teenagers?

I've told Levi that I'm not gonna take it any more and I don't want him to either. When he or I get a complaint from the more "spiritually mature", I am not going to nod and agree to discuss it with the kids.
Rather, I will ask those people how often they have said good things towards these kids who sit week after week in the front row of pews.
I will ask them what they know about the culture that these kids are forced to exist in daily.
I may ask them how often they pray for these kids by name.
I will tell them that the teens of our church are actually some of the strongest believers on their campus.
They would be doubtful, I bet, because the teens get on stage with,..(gasp),..shorts! holy jeans!
Oh for cotton-pickin sake.

deep breath........

I think that God is pleased with the fact that there is a remnant in this young generation of your church and mine who are not "conforming to this world".
As they are learning this, and how to "transform their minds", I think we need to remember how slow WE are to learn things.

Lord, please help ME to always be an encouragement to those younger than me in the Faith.
(and to those older than me too)

New Things For Me

I have wondered for about a year now about whether my current employment is where God wants me to be. It is not that I dislike my job,..no no. In fact, if you knew my co-workers and my work environment,..you would be envious. I have never worked with such a dynamic and cohesive team.
For 36 hours, the 6 of us work in a room smaller than most of our living rooms.
The TV is going, we have 8-10 fans on high, we have 6-12 patients entering and exiting every hour, treadmills are humming, recumbent bikes and ellipticals are whirring and great conversation and laughter is a constant.
So why do I wish to leave?
I don't.
But I have just had this feeling that I may be supposed to do something else.
What?
I have no idea.

Yesterday, I was told that my job would be cut from our unit. (go ahead....gasp!)
Of all of us,..I have been at the Baptist system the longest, (almost 30 years) but in my department,..I am the newbie.
It's the fair way.
I've been given 3 weeks.
3 weeks?!!

Now that's pretty exciting isn't it?

My fingers nearly ran through my bible to find this passage this morning:

Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your request be made known unto God; and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.
(Phil:4:6-7)

Discouragement And Faith

Something I read recently:
"Faith is not a power. We don't simply summon faith up whenever we want to.
Faith is simply believing that God will do the things He says He will do. It's as simple as that."

Yeah right.

I believe that truth in my head, but my reality is that I often doubt God will do the things He says He will do.
I want to have Faith, but deep down, I have come to believe that what I really want is far different.
I want protection.
I want to feel secure.
I want my family to be healthy.
I want my church to be fresh and vibrant.
I want my daughters to be Godly young women.
I want to be free from apathy.
I want to be kept from catastrophes.

Why does it often seem to me that having faith also means I may have to embrace the very things I fear?

The famous Faith chapter in Hebrews is chock-full of awful experiences of His chosen ones. For instance,..the ones getting sawed in two,..... do you think they felt like heroes of Faith? I wonder if they found themselves doubting God at that last moment of their lives.
I imagine I would have been screaming my head off thinking that God had forsaken me.

My job is to follow God's ways as best I can, whoever I am with and in whatever circumstances I find myself in.
However,...when I'm full of self-doubt and discouragement, I have this notion that God won't stay near me. That He won't stay by this "faithless one".

Me, of all people,...the queen of doubters,... should know better.

Thank you God for knowing my head and my heart and for making spiritual sense of the things I feel and want as I walk through this life with You.
I am a fearsome wreck, but I believe that You can make me a fearsome wreck full of faith.

Gold-plated Addictions

Tonight, I had the privilege of hearing William P Young's book "The Shack". You may or may not have read this book, but surely you have heard about it.
Surely.
AND if you have read it, you either:
loved it
or
you considered it heresy.
Most people are not neutral about it.

Here's my take on this book which I have read. (Also, believe it or not, I have also had this book sent to me anonymously twice. (twice!))

I have never thought it to be a lesson designed to impart deep theology.
I do not consider it a book about grief.
I honestly don't think he author planned on the vast circulation it has received.
I got frustrated about a third of the way through the book and put it down for several days. I hear this is a common behavior for many readers. Interesting.
It jumps smack in the middle of all of our prejudices.
I have a better concept of the trinity than I have ever had in my life.

I am no book reviewer, nor do I want to say that I agree with all of the symbolism I read about it. However, this author has an amazing testimony of the redemptive power and grace of God.

He spoke much about being "performance driven" as he dealt with all of his internal brokenness and addictions as a result of a horrible childhood. He reminded us all that some of us deal with the "bad" addictions (he mentioned drugs, alcohol, sex, porn, gambling,.etc) but that there are many of us who deal with "Gold-plated addictions" such as church roles, respect, significance, success, etc.
The problem with these gold-plated addictions are that we tend to excuse the behaviors,..even celebrate them! Seldom are they considered significant spiritual issues.
We exercise self-discipline (external) and think we have acquired self-control (internal fruit of the spirit).


sigh.

sigh.....

Time for a personal evaluation........

Mayberry

Tonight we began a study entitle "Mayberry". I tell ya, I love the study because we get to watch an entire episode of Andy Griffith!
We use the character's response to situations and then the study has scriptures to match.

Andy, Barney and Opie reminded tonight of the pleasing simplicity of service.

I have struggled much during the past 4 years or so with "what does God want me to do with the rest of my life?"

Ya know, I think that many of us have a deep-seated fear that God will "call" us into some sort of uncomfortable life-style. Something hard like inner city missions or serving in the deep wilds of Africa. We listen to the missionaries and marvel at their commitment.
We want to be willing. Truly do.
We confess our unwillingness and feel sure that even God couldn't make us want to "go".

The reality is however, that God calls us to work and serve just as hard "here" as those missionaries do "there".
We are surrounded daily by souls and spirits who need a kind word.
They sit beside us in our offices.
They are on the other end of the phone lines we talk on.
They are stocking or checking our groceries at Wal-Mart.
They live next door to us.
They sit beside us in church.
They sit daily at our supper table.

God created us all with unique personalities, talents and resources to take care of each other. Every day.

Galatians 6:10 says "Right now, every time we get the chance, let us work for the benefit of all, starting with the people closest to us in the community of faith." (the Message)

But I find that I sometimes ignore/forget/get irritated at the important things while I give inordinate amounts of attention to projects which have no eternal significance.

In the past 4 years or so, I have pondered, prayed and planned to be flexible and ready to do whatever I think God wants me to do. But I have found that His obvious plan for me at this moment in time brings no real big outward change to my life.
But baby you should see the changes on the inside!

Hand-Holders

I am a nurse.
Things looked a little sketchy in college, but I always knew I'd be one.
It's a calling on my life just as sure as some people are preachers and missionaries.

I work with all kinds of nurses and by far, most of them are exceptional.
Some are funny, some are creative, some are serious, some work all day in high gear and some are quiet and slow. They go into the presence of their patients with one thing on their mind, and that is to offer some sort of comfort or help. The help could range anywhere from flipping a pillow underneath a head to injecting a high dose of Morphine.

I know a few bad nurses.
Their skills are fine, may be even excellent,.... but they are a sorry excuse for a nurse.
Know why?
Because they don't care about people who hurt.
A nurse who is rude, unsympathetic and thoughtless will cause instant outrage.

Ronald Reagan was shot in the 1080's and wrote a book about his experiences after the gunshot nearly ended his life.
In his book, did he give accolades to the dynamic surgeon who dug a bullet out of his chest?
Did he compliment the radiologist who pinpointed the location?
Did Mr. President write about the ER doc who stabilized him until surgery?
Nope.
None of those brilliant people were the ones who calmed the President of the USA and made him feel safe.

The most important man in the world made a hero that day of the nurse who held his hand and would not let it go.
She squeezed his fingers from the time he entered the Emergency room until he went under anesthesia an hour or so later.
Now, I guarantee you that the nurse had a lot more skills which may have been more useful at that moment than being a good "hand-holder", but the President didn't think so.
He was desperate for some heartfelt care.

I think our churches today are like that.
People come to us with heart and soul-threatening wounds and we want to get in the middle of their business and "fix" things.
They are in the right place!
By cracky, we have the answers!
Quick!
Right away!!
Save em!
Baptize 'em!
Sign them up for a committee and convince them it's the same thing as "ministry"!
Make 'em come to church twice on Sundays and once on Wednesdays!
Then, after a few weeks, those people in pain will walk out of our sanctuaries wondering why they don't "feel better".

Come to think of it,..
I think a lot of our members are there as well.
I can think of lots of friends who have left a body of believers because they were not "cared for". I'm ashamed to say, but I can recall that I often chalked it up to the notion that those people were "too sensitive".
Not any more.
Now I know that some people enter our churches looking for good hand-holders.
That important life-saving skill, my friends, can point them straight to Jesus.

Caution!:!:
SLOW Learner here!
This isn't rocket-science Becky.

Playing It Safe

Francis Chan, one of my all time favorite preachers.

I hate that this is a bit fuzzy.

Watch it anyway!

Working On Completion

Here's something that the great theologian Charles Stanley wrote:

God does not place needs in our lives so that we will be incomplete human beings. Pain exists to compel us to seek Him and rely on Him so that we can be whole.
Our needs actually become our potential.
They are the starting point for our accomplishments.

How about that?
Ole Chuck's message is not a popular one at all now is it?

I used to exhaust myself daily grappling with the very notion that God places things in our lives to cause us pain. In fact, according to Charles Stanley, we are actually incomplete without trials, needs and pain.
Actually,..I think Charles Stanley stole the idea from Jesus:

James 1:2

Count it all joy when you fall into various trials knowing that

the testing of your faith produces patience.

But let patience have it's perfect work,

that you may be made perfect and complete, lacking nothing.

I think that God does not mind us exhausting ourselves grappling trying to figure things out, because the very next verse promises us that if we ask Him for wisdom, He will give it to us.
His requirement is huge however: We must request the wisdom "in faith".

In Faith?
What's that mean?
So we are to...Count it a joyous thing for troubles,.....ask for wisdom.... in faith... while we hurt?

It's been my experience that we can feel like an utter failure as we flounder around feeling faithless, joyless and "ignert" in our painful circumstances.
But!
God finds us right there in the middle of our mess and somehow redeems our circumstances into something of worth.
He's building something perfect in us.

I'm not saying I've enjoyed the process.
Nope. Not at all.
But I am saying that the process is effective.

Boldness and Possessions

Woke up this morning wanting to be inspired by my bible study. It seems that most of my huge memorable inspirational quiet times have been from the New Testament so I began to browse through there and just durn near piddled away all my time!
Finally settled on Acts.
Act 4:23 - the rest of chapter.

The apostles had just been in big trouble with the Jewish church leaders, and after being released, they ran to their companions to share their experiences.
Did they whine?
Did they gripe?
Did they shake their heads at the "state of the nation" or "the condition of the church"?
No. They did not.

They were utterly and completely emboldened more than they had ever been before!
Not only did they erupt in spontaneous praise and prayer, this moment began a spirit of giving of their possessions to further the work of the Kingdom.

They prayed for more boldness to speak.
They asked for more strength to endure the trials.
They did not ask for God to change their circumstances, because they had a keen understanding that God often uses evil to bring about His purposes. (v 27-28).

Yikes!

Acts 4 is not really a comforting word for us believers today.
I don't know about you, but I find that my plans are to keep myself from evil, to avoid trials and pain, to save and invest wisely so I can acquire more money and then,.......I will try to speak boldly for God.
Sell my land, my crazy old rent houses, my home place, liquidate my teensy savings and then give all my stuff away?
What would you think of me?
What would I think of you if you did all of that?
I think that we would have very few supporters.

We all agree to live like that would free us to live by Faith, but I personally don't think I know of a single Christian who lives like this.

Yet,...I think it's scriptural.

sigh.

God has so much work to do in me.

Jeremiah

If you can not run with the footmen, then how will you keep up with horses?
And if you can't not survive in the land of peace, then how in the world will you survive a flood?
Jeremiah 12:5

I came to really love the prophet Jeremiah in the winter of 2004. He was profiled in a sermon preached by Bro. Craig Loibner (Fellowship church in North Little Rock) and it ministered to me like no other sermon has ever done. At that particular moment in my life, I was still deeply overwhelmed by the pain of Jae's death and also barely surviving spiritually after Ralph, the girls and I had been unofficially booted out of our home church.

I'm not kiddin.

I didn't know which way was up.


Bro Craig's sermon covered the book of Jeremiah wide open from one end of the book to the other in a span of about 30 minutes!
And the words he preached that morning were like water to my parched thirsty soul.
The lesson was healing,..soothing,.....full of mercy and grace for my hurting heart.
I walked out feeling hopeful that God still had His eyes on me.

I am studying Jeremiah this month.

I really have not ever seriously gone back to the book since that one sermon a few years ago.
The things I'm learning this month are just as fascinating, but are so very different from the things I drew from it through Bro. Craig.

The lessons for me at this point in my life are not ones which deal with brokenness, yet, I will never forget feeling that way.

Is anybody out there feeling lost and covered flat up with hurt and despair? I'm so sorry and want to tell you to hang on.
The world and this culture tells us that our worth is often dependent on the amount of influence we have.
Not so.
God's definition of success is dependent on our faithfulness and our obedience to Him.

You are not alone.