Adoption

A friend of mine has posted this video on her facebook page.

Ralph and I have discussed this subject often and are considering it........

What about you consider it too?

March 17th is Abby's Birthday

Abby Rae.

Sixteen years old.

As she snuggled with me in bed this morning I listed

several of the reasons I am proud of her.

I could list them here, but most would sound exactly

like the reasons any mom feels regarding her child.

For the first year or so of Abby's life, I would frequently ask the rest of the family

"Can you imagine life without her?!"

Most moms know exactly where they were when their children were born, but not so with some of us adoptive moms!

That's why I am grateful for my morning of St. Patricks day 1994.
Sixteen years ago on this day, Jae, Casey and myself stood in front of our bathroom mirror and all spoke about wearing green and pinching people.
Jae was 5 years old and Casey was 4.
Pinching was the big topic of the morning.
It's always a stressful day when us moms have to send our young ones out into the world where pinching is allowed!
So as I brushed their hair we spoke of pinching etiquette.
Things like
*Don't pinch people at all.
*If you have to pinch, make sure they are wearing no green.
*Never ever pinch hard.
*Avoid bullies,..they pinch too hard and try to hurt.
etc.

Unbeknownst to us as we stood in front of that mirror, the youngest member of our family was taking her first breath somewhere miles away.

Birth Moms

I, of course, have lots of personal thoughts about Mother's Day.

The ones from last year haven't changed.

You can read about them here if you like.

Today, I'm thinking other thoughts as well.

A few years ago, a friend gave me a great little book with an idea that will always stay in my mind. It's entitled "The Epic". (Thanks Jan!).

It spoke of how all of us are living out God's big story and we each have a very important part to play. Each of us is a main character and believe it or not,..our little bitty selves have the ability to affect and changed the world.
Our influence is determined by our choices and, of course, our willingness to follow God's ways.


This weekend, Mother's Day eve, I was honored to speak to a small group of women who had made some really tough decisions in their lives. They were birth-mom's who had chosen life for their children and had placed them up for adoption.

Pivotal moments in their lives.
Pivotal moments in the lives of others.

None of the ladies in the room were the birth-mom's of my daughters, but I created my message as if they were.

Just imagine will you?.......
A young woman in distress
A man and woman who longed for a child
A tiny baby, powerless and unaware.

All of Heaven watched as each of those stories began to be woven together for eternity.

*********************

Dearest birth moms of Jae, Casey and Abby,

As I held them for the very first time, I thought of you.
As each of their birthdays approached, I thought of you.
On each Mother's Day, I thought of you.
When I rocked them at night, I often thought of you.
On National Right-To-Life days, I marched to the state capitol and thanked God for you.
When I studied their eyes and their smiles, I thought of you.
When people told me that they looked like me, I thought of you.
During all the high moments of a child's life,... award ceremonies, baptisms and other times, I truly wished that you could see and know how wonderful they are.
It is important to me that you be proud of them.

and to Jae's b-mom,...
As we wrote the obituary for her, we mentioned you.
And as the rest of the family members here on Earth began to pull together a memorial service and funeral for her, we purposely wove your story into hers and ours and reminded every person there that they knew and loved Jae Lynn because of you.

***************************************

Happy Mothers Day to all my friends with a broken place in their heart.

Mother's Day

Never has a holiday moved me through so many deep emotions.

I remember when I was was little, the day was memorable because David, Bobby and I would all go out to our yard and clip a red rose off of one of our bushes. We got to wear red because it symbolized that our mom was still alive. I always felt for my mom, because daddy always had her a white corsage, which carried the symbolism of a mother who had died. I couldn't imagine a life without a mother.

Then after 7 years of marriage, Ralph and I had become desperate for a child of our own. (Well,..I was that way,....Ralph may not have classified himself as desperate.) The last verses of Psalm 127 seemed to mock me.
For some reason,...God was not "blessing our quiver". There were babies getting aborted, murdered and abused everywhere, yet, our arms were full of emptiness.
Following God was obviously not a guarantee of His blessing. I was confused.
Mother's day became a day of pain and all the celebrations rubbed salt in my broken heart.

Then,... the first Mother's day after adopting Jae Lynn.
There was not another Mother alive who praised God more for the joy and blessing of my daughter. I was overwhelmed with the love she inspired in me and I felt as if life would forever be good because Jae Lynn was in it.
Then Casey and Abby are born, adopted and blessed into my life and wonder of all wonders!...
How can this be?
Love is never divided, it is multiplied?
Only God could create such a deep capacity for something unseen.
I never took any Mother's day for granted. I still wore a red rose and now I had three children who called me mom.
My quiver was full.

Then Jae is killed at 16 years old, and Mother's day occurs two months later.
I celebrate with dinner at my mom's, receive gifts from Casey and Abby and then go to a cemetery to spend time near my oldest blessing.
Graves are sad places during the holidays, but the grave of a child is an area of desolation.
I am sure my cries could be heard over all the city.

Today, while at work, someone wished me a "Happy Mother's Day" and then asked me how many children I had. As usual, I answered that I have three daughters.
I was then asked various questions about them, and I was able to have a long conversation about the girls without having to disclose that one of them now lived in Heaven. This person, a stranger, thought Jae Lynn was still alive.
It was comforting to me.

I told a friend recently about a short conversation Abby had with the author John Piper who wrote "90 Minutes in Heaven". Abby asked to go and listen to this man preach and share his testimony, and then she wanted to stay and meet him personally after the service.
We waited until the sanctuary was almost completely empty. Abby walked up to him and with tears in her big brown eyes, leaned up towards him and whispered:
"my sister was killed in a car wreck".

Mr. Piper leaned towards her and whispered back :"Your sister's not dead".


I am still the mother of three.
Two are alive and will be in my kitchen this Mother's Day.
One is alive and in the presence of her Creator and The King of Kings.
My head tells me that Jae is more alive that Casey or Abby.
My heart tells a different story.

Never has a holiday moved me through so may emotions.