Monday, December 14, 2009


Shopping today in June's Hallmark of NLR almost led me into one of those Christmastimehumdingerhissyfits.
Have you ever had one of those?
I wrote about them here.

My time spent the past couple of days with Casey and Abby has left me pining for my other daughter.
What would Jae be like today?

Today, in the Hallmark store, I was reminded of a time, years ago, when I was in there shopping for something. Jae was about 8 years old and as we entered the store, her eye fell onto a small red teddy bear sitting in the middle of a hundred other stuffed animals. She gasped, knelt down in front of the rack, picked up the bear and followed me through the store. She cooed and whispered to it the entire time as I browsed for forgettable things.

She begged me for it.
Begged me I tell ya.

I said "no".

You should have witnessed the emotional parting she and this red teddy bear had right there in the aisle of that busy store.
It was a quiet separation but I knew she felt as if she was leaving someone special.

I recall a similar time when in a toy store at Branson, Jae saw a doll named "Polly Flinders". The minute she saw the doll, we could tell that it was different. She seemed to connect with it in a way that we had not seen before.
Her desire for Polly Flinders could best be described as ......desperate.
Even after Jae no longer played with dolls, Polly was never put away.

For some reason, this red teddy in the hallmark store seemed to be similar to Polly, so as soon as I could, I returned to purchase him for one of her Christmas presents.

Teddy became a very important member of our family.
He frequently got buckled in beside her in our family van, he slept on her pillow each night, waited for her to come home each day, he camped with us, accompanied us to Disney, occasionally went to church and he faithfully attended every cheer competition.
He was present as she filled her journals at night and I'm positive he was privy to many of her night-time musings.

In June's hallmark store today, I recalled Jae Lynn kneeling there and meeting Teddy for the first time.

I wanted to tell each mother in the store to buy whatever their kids wished for.

Teddy now sleeps in my room with me.


Kendall Jones said...

This post is beautiful, Becky.

Gigi said...

God bless you...