Jae Lynn's New Quilt

These pictures show Casey's gift to me:

She cut, pieced and stitched together a quilt made of Jae's t-shirts

I recall telling her she would regret writing on the one above.

I was amazed.

Touched.

Overcome.

Thrilled.

Is it not amazing?

We've still go to get it quilted, but it looks to me like that will be the easy work.

Three days. Three Daughters.

I'm wore out.

Friday night. Abby Night
She is inviting her marching band to our home after the home games.
"The whole band?" I confirmed a few weeks ago.
There's about 110 kids in it.
To prepare, we began "re-doing" the back room a few weeks ago . Finally finished (more-or-less) and the outcome is surprisingly cool. I was pretty skeptical of her dark gray, teal and pink color scheme. As she suspected, Friday night came and they did NOT all show up.
We're still eating the food.

Anyway,...big night,...lots of prep and I'm tired.

Saturday. Casey day.
She volunteered to be stage crew for CityFest in Little Rock.
The organizers saw her application, called her up and asked to take a huge position (no pay, no authority) as one of the main volunteer coordinators.
Yep,..for the entire event.
I was her assistant.
For the entire day yesterday, my main job was to do whatever Casey told me to do. It was kinda neat seeing her in charge and watching her network with other key players in the large event.
One of the volunteers had no one on her team show up as scheduled, so Casey sent me a "quick!" order to assist with decorating the hospitality room for the artists/bands.
Seriously?
Of all the things I can do and I'm asked to go decorate?
Their desperation was apparent.

(side story:....a nice looking young band member had a regular lunch with his regular looking parents who evidently had traveled several hours to see his show. Quiet. Normal. Then,..a couple hours later I see that young man on stage in very different apparel, playing the electric guitar and screaming his lungs out to unintelligible head-banging rock music. I heard later that the mom was touched by all the decorations.)

Casey and I began the day around 7:00am and got home around 11:00pm.
Big day. I'm tired.

Sunday. Jae Lynn.
23 years ago today a beautiful young woman gave birth to a baby who was meant for my arms.
My mind is recalling all the birthdays and celebrations that this day has been in our home. Now we spend her birthday going to a nice restaurant,..one of her many faves. Then,..usually around sunset, I will release balloons at her grave.

One of the things about a child's death is that their life seems to lose significance as time passes. Some of you may react to that statement by saying "NO! We'd never forget Jae!"
But remembering a person is different than being significantly changed by them.

My dad crossed into Heaven a couple of years ago. His memory and his significance will live on for generations through those of us who were raised by him.
Children, however, don't often get a chance to leave that strong of a legacy. Their life was often too short and their impact seems to be primarily on those in the family and their close circle of friends.

A child's birth will change us.
Their death, however, will transform a parent to the point where we will say that "we" died.
The transformation, coupled with the pain and fear of loss of significance for our child will compel us to do new things like establish foundations, oversee scholarships, change careers, write, speak and jump flat in the middle of other things that we ordinarily would never do.

Our transformation becomes our child's significance.
These are deep thoughts.
But then,..I'm feeling deep sadness.

I'm tired.
I don't belong here.

Garmins, Deadbolts and Drunks

It's midnight.
It's storming in Virginia.
My daughters have so far, driven 18 hours to get to a town in that state.
At the moment they 2 hours from their destination and lost.
And exhausted.
"Maps? Who needs maps?" they said this morning. "We have the Garmin."

Ralph is trying to find a hotel which is close to where they are.
I am trying to remain calm.
Ralph's hairy daughter is even looking a bit stressed.

Still, as they drive through the darkened sleeping town of Charlottesville, my weary girls have suddenly perked up and are noticing stores and buildings to visit "first thing in the morning".

A phone call just informed us that "they are all locked in for the night".
Finally.
I can rest for the first time since 5 a.m.

(I have emailed Casey a map.)

******addendum to the above:******
text messages arrive to my phone about 20 minutes they are in their room:
Abby: I don't like it here.
me: Why?
Abby: (silence)
Me: ?
Abby: There are men outside our room.
Me: What are the men doing?
Me: Are ya'll locked in with the deadbolt in place?
Abby: Yeah....
Abby: I'm scared mommy.
Me: Did they say anything to you?
Abby: (silence)
Me: Call me.
Abby: I can't. Casey's sleeping.
Me: Well wake her up!
Me: (I try to call her)
Abby: Bad service. Can't answer your call.
Abby: I think they're drunk. They just left.
Me: If Casey is sleeping then it must be safe. Deadbolts are safe too.
Never hesitate to call 911 if you need someone to help you.
Me: TV on?
Abby: No.
Me: Good. You are exhausted. but safe with your sister and your dad and my prayers.
Sleep now. OK?

Silence for the rest of the night.
No rest for me after all....

Casey Leigh Russell, Bachelors of Science

This was a BIG weekend for the Russell family.

Casey Leigh Russell's name was called off in the middle of about a half-million other graduates at the University of Arkansas at Fayetteville. To Ralph and I however, the tedious three hour ceremony was well worth sitting through the 3 seconds of watching her walk across the stage.
(I doubt our 15 guests thought the same thing but they blessed us deeply with their presence!)

So many emotions! I am filled with pride at her accomplishment but I swear as she walked back to her seat, I thought her facial expression was the same one we photographed in her kindergarten play back in 1994.
Casey has had an intense dislike (!) of school since about the 5th grade and I am relieved she finally finished! I can not tell you how many times we had to convince her to "stay".
She would have been a high school dropout in her junior year, but instead she chose to skip her senior year and graduate early. Her sophomore year at the University we, once again, thought she might drive up our driveway with all her belongings in the back of her truck. Rough doesn't describe that year and it had little to do with academics.

I'd describe some big moments but Casey isn't like that. Unlike her daddy and momma, she's the quiet-private type.

Lots of emotions from missing Jae Lynn at such a huge family marker-moment but tried oh so hard to suppress them and focus on the joy of the occasion.

Mothers Day.
Graduation.

I'm feeling blessed.

Easter 2010

Bob, his handsome sons and mom Below is Lilly's first Easter pictures! (well kinda....)

Ralph's mom and dad

My brothers and me

Aundra was the first brave one of us to get a tattoo after Jae's wreck.

Job tells us in chapter 19 v 25 on that:

For I know that my redeemer lives, and He shall stand at last on this earth; And after my skin is destroyed, this I know, that in my flesh I shall see God.

How my heart yearns within me!

Emma loves Abby.

You can tell the feeling is mutual!

This old house was my grandfathers.

We need to tear it down but none of us really want to.

As I looked through the lens to snap this picture, all I could think of was how badly I wished Jae was there too.

Of course, what's an old house without old furniture to drag out?

Casey made some sort of wrapped jalapeno doo-dads.

Can you smell these steaks?

Bob needed a spray bottle of water. He ran into mom's kitchen sink and found a spray bottle under her sink.

"Is this water?" he asked.

Mom told him she didn't know.

Ya know how Bob found out?

He squirted it in his mouth. "Yep", it's water!" and ran back out the door.

I'm glad it wasn't carpet cleaner or furniture polish.

Bob's a pyro like the rest of us and without a doubt holds the record for having to call the fire department.

The smoke here is from him using his new-found water-squirter.

Our church joined with a sister church to perform a musical. I had a solo!

It's easy to sing when you are backed up by 40 great voices.

Needed my glasses for most of the songs.

This lady is a happy singer. One of my fav people in the whole wide world.

He is risen indeed!

That's my hope!

Weekend Reflections

Went to Fayetteville this week-end to spend time with Casey. The Hogs just happened to play so I watched them too.
Here's some random reflections from the weekend.
**************************************
Casey cleaned her apartment in anticipation of our arrival. Imagine that.

Breakfast at the Cracker Barrel is a great date.

The lady who sat next to me at the football game cried during the National anthem.

Casey's roommate is an Interior Design major. She's been "in studio" now for about 36 hours straight. Her schedule the past two semesters has been insane.
Mama's...don't let your babies grow up to be Interior Designers.

Every single coach and manager on the South Carolina Football team wears their pants about 4 inches too long.

If Jae were still with us, she would more than likely be a senior cheerleader at some university.

Casey plans, travels and roams because she still grieves deeply.

Abby is right now, the same age as Casey was when we lost Jae.

I am reminded that some of the most important jobs I can do or my girls is to pray, love and listen.

Anytime I see sunrises, sunsets, pretty moons, rainbows or storms,..I wonder what it all looks like from Heaven's viewpoint.

I love to come home.

I found out that we now have the BET channel on our TV.

Oh joy. Another channel to block.

Abby still fits nicely in my lap.

And lastly,.....a moment form the Hogs football game that I always look forward to.....

.

What The Teachers Did Right

Our church is hosting a "Teacher appreciation" luncheon for the elementary teachers at our school across the road.
I am bringing crackers.
Crackers.

As I drove home from the grocery store, it occurred to me that crackers is a teeny tiny, too small of a thing to bring to the teachers who invested so much into the lives of my daughters, nieces and nephews.

They pour their lives into my children for years and I bring them crackers?

That's not a fair trade-off.

If Jae, Casey and Abby's teachers were right here in front of me, I would tell them this:

1. Thank you for the field trips, even though they were a lot of trouble. Most were educational, but they all created wonderful memories.
2. Thank you for requiring 30 minutes of reading 5 nights a week. That graded "homework" created a love for reading like no other assignment. You let them read whatever they wanted to and let them keep their own time-sheet. It was homework which created hours of close family time as we lay side-by-side reading books.
3. Thank you for using encouraging endearments and giving them affirming nicknames.
4. Thank you for laughing loudly when they are funny.
5. Thank you for not laughing when they would be embarrassed.
6. Thank you for playing with them at recess and occasionally eating with them at lunch time.
7. Your lesson plans which included art and music were worth the trouble. We talked about those often at our supper table.
8. Thank you for noticing that she needed glasses. How in the world did I miss that?
9. I am grateful that you have not tolerated mean and screaming co-workers in the other class rooms. Your professional peer pressure has kept the standards high.
10. I have been inspired as I observed you show God's love to kids who have never seen it or felt it before.
11. You daily teach and role model some of the most important lessons which are not found in the text-books. Important things such as... how to work through friend-squabbles, how to treat another child who does not wear deodorant and why we should give valentines to every child in the room. Many of the friendships formed in those classrooms have followed them throughout their life.
12. I really appreciatle how you encourasged me to keep "doing music" in their classrooms. I would have quit in a heartbeat if you hadn't told me what a big deal it was to the kids.
13. Your soft touch on their arm or their head has often spoken much louder than your words.
14. Even today, years after leaving your classroom, they love it when they appear in your doorway and you stop your class to introduce them as "one of your favorites".
15. Thank you for letting all of Lauren Lee's classmates skip school for several days after her death. They all desperately needed the time playing together in our yard.
16. It's odd to say that a good memory can be recalled from a child's funeral, but I will forever be grateful for the large number who filed in and sat together at Jae's funeral. Thank you for sobbing with me at such a loss.

Each of my children's paths were nurtured for hours in your care and I truly am grateful for your help as we formed them into the beautiful young women they now are.
They may look ordinary but they are the beloved daughters of the King of all Creation.

This first day of school, as you look out across your classroom full of fresh faces, remember that you are one of the most powerful people in this world.
Your influence will live for generations.

With deep appreciation
and crackers........,

Jae, Casey and Abby's mom

Casey

Casey Leigh is 21 today.

What?
Wait just a minute!!
Wasn't it just a little while ago that I asked Ralph if he was interested in adopting another child?

I'll always have a mental picture of him reading his paper as Jae Lynn lay on a floor pallet in front of us. He looked at her (about 5 months old) and said "Sure."
We really didn't think the details of the adoption would work out.
They never did.
I bet 100 people had given me a "lead" about a young woman who was pregnant and may be interested in placing their child for adoption. "I'll get back to you." they would say.
At least 100.
We eventually just stopped paying attention to people who told us about those "possibilities" because although they meant well,...it was painful when most of them simply forgot about the conversation later.

However,...in the Spring of 1988 there was to be a baby born in just a few months in the town of Dover, Delaware.
We were.....
Cautious.
Hopeful.
Doubtful.
Skeptical.
Confused.
Trying to be full of faith.
Faithless.
We experienced it all.

Then, on August 31st, 1988, a three week-old Casey Leigh Russell was placed into our arms in the middle of bustling Philadelphia airport terminal.
With a 3 hour layover, we found an empty terminal and placed her on a blanket on the floor. As we unwrapped our 2nd daughter from all her borrowed blankets we took our first good long look at her and marveled at these God orchestrated events which brought us together.
21 years later, I still marvel at His plans.
For me but especially for her.

I often looked at Jae and Casey together, 9 months apart, and would exclaim to Ralph,.."Can you imagine them separate and living in someone else's home?"

She was raised under Jae's shadow and was often overlooked as Jae Lynn perked her way through life. (There has never been a day in Casey's life where she could be described as "perky". )
After Jae's accident, to instantly become the oldest trail-blazer in the family, and in such a painful way, she really kinda had to re-learn who she is. The search is still on in a lot of ways, but gracious sakes alive the layers are getting more interesting as we go!

She's starting her senior year at college in a couple of weeks and I am so satisfied with our relationship as it has changed through the years. Although I do miss those days when she let me hold and rock her,...it is a wonderful thing to discuss life issues with a child who has changed and grown into an adult right before your eyes.

"You have a destiny Casey Leigh"
"How will I know what mine is?"

"You just have to pray and ask God to show it to you"

(bedtime conversation in 1993)

Jeremiah 29:11 (Msg)
I know what I'm doing.
I have it all planned out.
I have plans to take care of you, not abandon you,
plans to give you the future you hope for.

Good Plans

Got my girls on my mind.

Abby.
She's at a new church camp (Camp Windemere in Missouri) which our church has never gone to before. She didn't much want to go to this one because she's enjoyed Mission-Fuge so much the past few years. Levi, bless his heart, put up with intense pressure from the teens to switch camps and go back to Mission-fuge for the millionth year.
Since when did the kids get to thinking they could pick their own church camp?
Did you get to choose your church camp?
NO.
When you and I were kids, we went out and got on the bus to go wherever we were told to go.

Anyway. I want her to come back a world-changer.
That was my "charge" to her. "Make 100 new friends and come back as a world-changer."
That's a good plan.
I think I'll try to do that myself this week.


I'm also worried about
Casey.
She's done an extreme amount of growing up during these weeks in North Carolina. Ralph and I can just tell she is thinking differently than she has before. I've been scared to death, but still am confident that this trip has been a good thing for her.
She's still a server and evidently the Texas Roadhouse in North Carolina does not do the same business as here in Arkansas. She'd starve to death on the money she is making there. Last night, a group of 24 (TWENTY FOUR) women came in and as company policy dictates, Casey had to ask if she could put the automatic gratuity on the tab.
This particular large group said "No".
The grown-up mean girls left her $4.
four.
measly.
dollars.
I have prayed terrible things on each one of their heads.

She is also dealing with roommates that are trying to raise her rent, they smoke weed daily, drink beer for breakfast, lunch and dinner and... AAANNNNDDD.... they have that inside cat.
I told her that it was just too too much.
Just too much.
Under no circumstances should she ever live with a cat!


She passed a yard sale the other day and bought a surf board.
That'll be way useful in Fayetteville. (hee hee)

I think since her good friends on the Razorback Baseball Team have now made it to the college world series, she just may leave N.C. and her Craig's list roommates and head to Omaha to watch them play.
That's a good plan.
Maybe I'll try to do that too.


Jae Lynn
is never out of my mind.
It's like I'm living life with a large black spot in my vision.
No matter which direction I look, I see it everywhere I turn.
Life is certainly good, but it also feels very wrong.
A deep nagging dissatisfaction.
I want to know Jae Lynn as an adult.
I don't want to go on vacation without her.
I wanted my future family get-togethers to be of three daughters with three sons-in-laws.
I wanted to take care of her children.
Instead I must picture her in Heaven, which is still such a mystery to me.
How can she be "gone" from here?
Where is "there"?

Can you imagine your child "gone" and "there"?
No.
You can not.
It's my reality, yet I can't comprehend it.

Heaven.
Now that's a good plan.
"As for me, I will see Your face in righteousness;
I shall be satisfied only when I awake in Your likeness"
Psalm 17:15

Casey

That girl of mine.
She's a restless spirit.
Full of wanderlust.
Still grieving deeply.
College education almost complete.
Frustrated with her lack of "calling".
Determined to mark things off her bucket list.

Her job in Colorado as a white water river guide did not pan out. I guess they hired others who were stronger and had more experience.
Good for them I guess.
Still,......don't anybody go to Colorado and use the "Wilderness Aware" rafting outfit. I'm holdin a grudge.

Casey was resolute that she would not work in the Texas Roadhouse again this summer full-time. She threw a dart at a map of the USA, it landed on Wilmington, North Carolina, she found a roommate on Craig's list, borrowed her dad's Garmin (Tom Tom) and headed East.

Her roommate was throwing a graduation party at the very moment that Casey drove into the driveway of her new "home".
Instant friends.
One took her to church Sunday.
She's been wake-boarding already.
Two hour bicycle tour exploring the town.
Been to the beach everyday.
She's been turned down for about 30 jobs.
She's now living with a stupid shedding cat. (Gross. Casey hates cats like her mom.)
She's loving it. So far.
She's planned on staying only a few weeks, but I suspect by that time, she'll be more than ready to come home.

Am I worried about her?
Every minute.
Did I encourage her to go?
Absolutely.
No one knows more that I that a hundred terrible things can happen to her and I swear I visualized most of them. But I also know that the worst can happen three miles from my home.

Letting her go Encouraging her to go was the right thing to do.

Oh yeah.
Guess who/where she has an interview with tomorrow?
?
?
?
?
?
Texas Roadhouse in Wilmington North Carolina :)
Is that not a scream?


(please. No hate mail about the cat comment.)

Ice, Fun, Flexibilty and Generosity

Today, I received a long email where several of us moms gave an update on how our kids were weathering the winter storm in Fayetteville.

I have enjoyed hearing about how all the college kids are taking care of each other. They are calling around, seeing who does and does not have electricity. They are giving invitations and gathering into the apartments and homes that have warmth and water.
The students are sleeping on each others couches and floors, they're sharing food, watching movies and in general, having a great time in spite of the hardships of the weather.
It's like a city-wide sleepover!

I wonder if us adults acted like that during the next storm?
What if we all traveled to one house and bunked up together for the night?

Then again,..maybe not. We'd probably look like this lady. (Turn up your volume!)

Casey

Bored with being a server at a restaurant, Casey has chosen to seek a different type of job this coming summer.
She applied online and her application was one of 12 selected to go to the next phase of the application process.

Know what that is?

A Spring break week long camping/river trip in Arizona.
This phase of the interview process is a time for them to watch her work and for her to try them out as well.
They may or may not like each other.

Her tentative plans to work for a place in Colorado called "Wilderness Aware" will give her a summer of job as a "white water river rafting guide".

Attagirl.
You go baby.
Tryin to "Live Large".

Oh joy.
Just when I thought I would get some sleep!

Advice and Thanksgiving

So what did I tell Eddie was the single most important piece of advice in raising girls?

Without thinking,... I told him "Grace".
Not just talking about it, but applying it daily to the kids we often get tired of applying it to.

Grace for the ones who stay on the path we have dreamed for them.
Grace for the ones who take a different one which we had hoped for them.
Grace for the ones who create their own path.
Grace for the ones who aren't even looking for a path.

It doesn't matter the age,....the 2 year old needs it just as much as the 20 year old, and come to think of it,..my brothers and I have continued to receive it from our parents,..even at our age!

Speaking this one tiny piece of advice to Eddie last week, reminded me to tell my girls this past week, that I do not expect perfection. It is a challenge for us moms and dads to make sure we deal with our kids based on what we know in our hearts,..and not respond to them because their behavior may hurt our pride. (Our child can not do that,..why,...what would others think?)

I'm pretty much past worrying what others think of my parenting skills of my two daughters. To be honest,..I've already been there, and it was awful.

I still worry about Casey and Abby.
I still nag.
I still get frustrated sometimes.
Some behaviors will require justice,..not mercy.
But I pray that I live out a walking talking example of unconditional love and support. It's not that hard, 'cause they are both incredible girls. I also know that they could be living in someone else's home right now instead of ours.

Holiday's are an excellent time to review the priorities.
A family which loves deeply is a treasure and I am grateful for mine.

Closed roads

Note the time. Gggrrr.....

You see, I have just been through the awful-est time. Actually, my middle daughter, Casey has been through the awful-est time and I had to observe from afar. Here at 2 a.m., she is finally in her bed at college, and I am too wound up to sleep here at home.

Casey has enjoyed a four-day weekend here but was told by her daddy about 3:30 this afternoon to "get on the road!" because there was a possibility of a winter storm. Off she went into the cold but sunshiny afternoon. However, about 35 miles from her destination, high upon one of the Interstate 540 bridges, she was stopped along with hundreds of other travelers because of icy roads.
From 60 mph to 0 mph.
From dry roads to ice-covered roads.
Completely stopped with the motor turned off.
And turned on again occasionally for some heat.
Luckily for her she had a coat, boots, a blanket and even food in her car. (Unfortunately there was no bathroom!)

The news at 10:00 announced that they had "closed I-540" because it was impassable due to bad road conditions.
Closed it?
How can you close a road when it is packed full of drivers?

The State Highway Patrol told us around 11 p.m. that if she was in distress she could call 911 and they would send a helicopter to get her out. I informed him that she was not in distress yet, but that I was. He seemed to believe me since he had evidently already spoken with about 100 other parents who also had kids on this full, but closed freeway.

Finally,...about 1:30 a.m., she pulled onto her campus.
Stretched to her limits physically, emotionally and mentally.
Her next big effort would be to get to her dorm which is on the opposite side of campus from where she must park.

Now the University Police have cautioned young females time and time again about walking alone on campus. "Call us!" they say! "Be safe!"
Even the drunks are encouraged to call the police for a "safe ride".

However, tonight,.. the police officer informed her that the "safe-ride" time frame had expired and that she would need to get there on her own. I didn't get exactly what he said to her because she was crying as she was walking.

So, in the dark icy rain, carrying multiple bags, Casey finished her trip walking uphill about a mile. This entire 3.5 hour trip had turned into a 10 hour nightmare, and her voice held more exhaustion than I have ever heard from her.

If I knew that Police officers name, I would drive up there tonight and slap him nekkid.

Here's the deal:
That police officer could have turned that entire trip around for her. He could have picked her up, commiserated with her about the trip and dropped her off at the door. She would have still been spent, but she probably would have also felt cared for and supported on her arrival. What in the cotton-picking heck was he doing at 1:30 in the morning that was more important than her?

The University is lean mean educating machine, but it loses sight of the kids.
She's a little fish in a big pond.
She said she hates the campus and I told her I did too.

I tell ya,....there is really only one place we belong and that is,...... home.

Unread Letters

When a letter is sent to someone, it actually means very little if the recipient does not read it. The content may be extremely important, but does it does matter if it never gets opened and read? The letter to my girls was probably read by several people, but not by the two people it was addressed to.
Casey and Abby know my heart. My message is not new. I tell them the same things in person and try to do it often, but a written word is sometimes much more powerful.

It's an easy thing for them to forget who and what they are as they face their day to day culture. Schedules, relationships, school work, and other things scream for their attention.

Often my ideas seem to be out-dated and yes, even irrelevant.
"You know mom, that things are different these days."

The fact that they don't read my blog does not mean that they don't love me. Of course they do! They are satisfied though, with different forms of communication.

I find myself desperate to make them hear,.. and take to heart,..my message. Eventually, as I usually do, I will speak to them the exact same things that I wrote in the letter.

As usual, I considered how this all was similar to my relationship with Christ. My Father has His heartfelt life changing message written directly to and especially for little ole' me.
Ready for me to open it and read.

Yet, I can go for days at a time without even opening His letter.

I am doing better than I used to, but still need more. Even a small amount of time spent reading His letters has a profound impact on me. His encouraging words change my thoughts and my daily responses to people and situations. Even though the things I read are not new.

One of my patients told me this morning that he needed his birthday suit ironed because it was full of wrinkles. Oh how I can identify with his funny statement! However, it is comforting to know from 2nd Peter, that our birthday suits may wrinkle, but our hearts grow more beautiful as we follow Christ.

A letter to my girls

Dear Casey and Abby,


Here we are in a weekend which just happens to be the end of one semester and the beginning of the next. Grades have been earned, scores are posted, and this Monday you get to start over with a new slate of classes, teachers (sometimes) and hopes. Your daddy and I are proud of both of you and will continue to support you as you sit through the grind of an education. Some people talk about the thrill of learning,..but we know that oftentimes the tedium of the classroom far outweighs the joy of learning.

One of my resolutions this year was not related to school work at all. It is to encourage both of you to live your life stronger for God. My encouragement comes not because either of you are living a life of sin, but more because I have been convicted recently that this "taking up my cross daily" business is pretty hard work. If God's will was all clearly spelled out for you, following Him may be easier. Instead, He asks you, no, He longs and desires that you be Faithful to His word.

Communicating with Him through the Bible and prayer is when you will find the way to the joy and abundant life that He promises. It's not rocket science. They do not seem to be a flashy way to success, but trust your mom here,...they work.

When either of you leave for any reason through our kitchen door to go out, I always call out to you my love and concern "I love you!" "Please be careful!"
You and I know full well the meaning of those parting words.

What if God Himself were sending you out our kitchen door? He may call out things like:

"Don't forget to love those who you come into contact with today! Especially those who are hurting or are unlovely!"

"Be on guard Casey and Abby, you can not imagine how bad Satan wants to attack you"

"I am waiting right here girls for you to call out. If you need me, I will there instantly!"

"People everywhere are watching you. Please know that you are a direct reflection of Me"

"Look in the mirror and check your heart!"

God's plans for your life are way bigger than mine.

Heaven is closer than you think.

Fear nothing when you are following Him closely, and be terrified when you are not.

Your daddy and I love you with all that we are.