Wednesday, October 6, 2010

Jo's Companions

By far, one of my favorite posts ever written on Weepyseeds was by a "guest blogger".
My brother David wrote of his experince running the LR Marathon in 2009.

Today I am posting writings from another guest.

Jo Lauer is a cherished friend who I've met in the pit of grief as we've both attended the monthly Bereaved Parents meetings in North Little Rock. Jo's adult daughter died months ago and as we grievers know,..her journey is unique.
I was deeply moved when she shared these thoughts last month and and she has given me permission to share them with you.

Jo Lauer:
In the past few months, I have decided it’s time to make peace with my grief; to welcome grief as a friend into my life;
to allow grief to walk with me and teach my soul the lessons only grief can teach.

The time as come to allow grief to expand my heart, to teach me how to reach out to others who are hurting.

Grief has become my life long companion; a companion to embrace and to listen to.
A companion I must follow willingly if I’m to learn the lessons she was sent to teach me.
Grief strips away the trivial, the unimportant.
Grief leaves me naked and defenseless again the pain I felt. It’s only when I accept the fact that I have no defense against grief, when I stop battling it, denying it, suppressing it, hating it, and allowing it into my heart and head with no more barriers, that grief changes from a relentless, assaulting enemy into a gentle companion.

Grief is teaching me the preciousness of life.

Grief is teaching me the value of forgiveness and acceptance that can only come from the experience of total helplessness and powerlessness.
If I listen to grief as a friend, I will find a value and a purpose in the tears I‘ve shed. My tears are washing away those things in me that I held on to so tightly – control, unforgiveness, revenge, bitterness, selfishness – the barriers I put into my life to distance myself from the suffering in the world.

Grief is teaching me that my tears are mingled with the tears of mothers all over the world who have lost a child.

When I embrace grief as a companion, she brings yet another sister, in addition to consolation …compassion.
When I battled grief, she couldn’t introduce me to her other sisters, mercy, peace, and empathy. Grief brings cleansing and acceptance.
Grief brings a type of being born again.
The line between my life before Alyson died and my life now is becoming wider and deeper each day.
I’ve felt this sense of not knowing who I was any more and my companion grief is here to help me in my rebirth.

1 comment:

Debby said...

How Excellent!!!
I love you, Becky, you are so very special! the, Beav
Carissa's mom 10/19/94 - 10/20/95
Remembering our October girls!