Pigs and Angels

I do SO love Christmas trees which are coordinated.

Especially Blue and Silver ones.

and Red and Gold.

Never got into the feathers, but love the ribbons.

The Russell tree however,..will never be coordinated.

The kids have picked out a hodge podge of decorations and ornaments for the

past 20+ years and I love the memory of each one.

That's partly the reason my Christmas decorations

were left up in my Attic for years after Jae's accident.

Ya'll were right there with me when

I could not bring myself to bring those decorations down

and then you were there

when I finally did.

But for the past several years, I've noticed a trend in my tree decor:

It has become full of

Pigs and Angels.

How wonderfully odd......

The one above was actually the first one ever bought.

I found it in Branson as we escaped there on that terrible 1st Christmas without her.

I was sobbing at the checkout.

Below,..you will note Rudolph's replacements

Love the boots...

These crocheted angels have been on our tree for 15 years.

Handmade by Mrs. Nellie Fielder, a precious lady in my church.

Of course, I've one for each of the girls,

(and Mrs. Fielder's church directory obviously has holes in it!)

I've seen this look/pose from Jae a hundred times.

One of the gifts my fabulous sister Susan gives each year

is an ornament to each of the girls.

We have three of these on our tree...

I love this darlin hanging on the letter "J"

And then,....

Here is an odd saying for a Christmas ornament.

Jae Lynn,

The answers continue to elude me.

I think that you are not too far away, but I just don't know.

The mystery of Heaven leaves me wanting more.

More of what?

....answers?

......comfort?

.....patience?

...passion?

All of those things, yes.

But the bottom line is that I want it all.

I want the reunion with you that is promised to me.

I want no more Christmases without the ones I love.

I want an end to Bereaved Parents groups

and cemeteries in general.

I want to know my purpose.

The answers continue to elude me.

I think that you are not too far away,...but I just don't know.