He Knows All Things

I love Peter. 
I do.
That crusty impetuous fisherman blesses me. 
 Reading all about Peter gives me a road map of how messed up people are still welcome in God's service.

In the last chapter of Matthew, the scene opens with Peter,...back on his fishing boat. 
He had left the boat 3 years earlier to follow Jesus, and probably hadn't gone back to it until,....he denied Jesus during his trial and crucifixion. 
A very public failure for a very strong man.

Now, a few days later, Peter is sitting across the campfire from Jesus.
I imagine he is ashamed.  Maybe unsure of the relationship.

The next few lines have been the subject of many a sermon,..several of which I have struggled to understand.
It is a familiar exchange to most of us.
Jesus asks Peter 2 times, "Peter,.do you love Me?"and both times Peter replies "yes Lord, You know I love You".
But the 3rd time Jesus asked "Peter,...are you even my friend?"

I wonder how long it took Peter to respond. 
and I wonder why I never paid attention to Peter's response to that last line until recently.
"Lord you know all things.  You know I love You" 

Peter knew Jesus could look straight into his heart and see his true intentions, even when his behavior and actions were awful.

There are times when I'm horrified at the thought that God sees directly into my heart.
Then there are other times when I am grateful that He can do so.

Lost is OK

She listened to my instructions and left with confidence.

She was traveling just a few miles from home. 
She had traveled the roads hundreds of times before.
She was on her way to a close friend's home where she had been often.
She was lost.
LOST I tell ya.

"How in the world...." I asked..
"I know mom, but I did all the things you told me to do" 
(of course it is my fault)

Now, Abby was alone on an unfamiliar road with no idea of how to get the car heading back in the right direction.
A bit embarrassed.
A little scared.
A lot frustrated.
Lots of crummy feelings.

What's the only easy thing to do?
Just come on home.
No matter where she is, she can always find her way home.
In her mind though,..it was a Trip Fail.

Getting lost a few miles from home is not often where we find ourselves.  But then again, I swear I've been lost sitting smack-dab in the middle of my living room.  Had no idea where my life was heading.  The scary thing, is that those times, I don't even think I realized I was lost. 
I've spent days/weeks/months in a busy but spiritually aimless place in life.
Maybe I should call it "listless" instead of lost.
To me,...to me,..that's a Life Fail.

In my opinion, Abby was heading somewhere specific and saw things she never saw before.
She nows knows to listen better,..clarify directions from others.
She now has a much keener awareness of how to get to Tammy's house. 
She knows exactly what to do next time she finds herself at that intersection.
She solved the problem and found her way home.
Lessons learned and lost no longer.
I'd call that a successful afternoon.

Here at the New Year, if you ever have read my blog in the past, you KNOW I love to make goals, resolutions and plans. 
It's just helps me focus.
The teacher thinks it's a weakness.  He wishes I would just sit down and relax.

The thing is,..I am highly prone to getting flat-out-lost in the mundane, the routine, the apathy that has plagued me most of my life.
I desire passion, but I'm terrified to pray for it.
I know full-well that passion often comes to us through pain.
I wanna be brave but I often feel like a spiritual chicken.
I want to avoid all crummy feelings associated with heading somewhere and then getting lost.
 
This year, I've not written any detailed goals and resolutions, but have firm plans to be more intentional in life.
I'm going to be intentional about being intentional.
Pay attention to where I am going, and try my best to listening to God.
I'd rather follow God even if I don't know where I'm going, than sitting in my living room, lost listless as can be.