Wednesday, August 6, 2008

Acting Like Sophie

At our monthly Bereaved Parents meeting last night, we had a special speaker. Sam Adkins (Ph.d) has never lost a child, but somehow has become fairly adept at counseling parents who have.

He reminded us moms and dads that it was normal to wonder about the purpose of our pain. You and I are rational creatures with an inborn and natural need to make sense of our lives. I may not question everything in my life, but I crave understanding about other things.

My dog does not have this need.
If she pees on the rug, I swat her in the butt and she stops.
She does not run to a corner and wonder if I love her.
She does not become depressed over the fact that I took a swat at her.
As far as I can tell,..she makes no attempt to understand me.
Her desire seems to be to sit in our lap, eat and sleep with us and try not to get a butt-whuppin.
At any and every given time, she leaps into my lap and cuddles with me.
It's how she was made.

I, on the other hand,..was created with an intense need for purpose and rationales. I search for purpose to the suffering I see around me. It's how God made me.

Then,...He tells us in Proverbs to "...lean not on our own understanding,.."

It's not fair to make me one way and then require something different of me.
(Oh poor poor whiney me)

Sam said that a huge Faith step was learning to "let go" of our need for understanding and trust God with the purpose of this life.
Do tell.
I'd say that's an understatement.

Well ,..OK.
I can let go.
For tonight anyway.
Tonight I think I'll just act like Sophie and enjoy God's love for me.
I'm too tired to figure Him out tonight. :)

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