Monday, February 9, 2009

Still Learning And Loving

I've learned some things this past month or so:
Important things like,....
When I try to improve my posture on an escalator, I fall backwards
I can park my car on top of my weenie dog and she will live through it.
watching a friend fall in love is just pert near the most rewarding and exciting thing I could be a witness to.

This month I have been concentrating on Love. Appropriately so,..Valentine's day,...romance,..etc.
I am one of the most blessed of all women to share Ralph E. Russell's name.

But I've been taking a different look at love.
From my perspective towards God.

Kind of like this:
I don't want my daughters and husband to simply act like they love me. I would be able to quickly tell the difference between their sincerity or their pretense.
I don't want them to feel guilty and fearful of my response or opinion.
I never want them to spend time with me because they are "supposed to".
How horrible for me.
And them.

I often wonder if I've lived my relationship with God like that?
I have a desire to love Him because of who He is, not what he can do for me.
I want to please Him out of a fervent love rather than guilt.

He is a mind reader.
He knows when I pray for things,.. forgiveness,... blessings,.... requests,.... concerns,.... He knows my motives and my sincerity.
I don't know about you,..but that's a scary thought for me.

I deeply love God.
Most days I feel it strongly,..but some days I feel distant.
Who's fault is that?
(There I go,..feeling guilty.)

Here's my very own "Love Dare" between me and the King of Kings. I dared myself :)
I have asked God over and over during the past few days to deepen my love for Him.
I am begging Him several times during each day to give me ways to demonstrate my love.

The scripture is full from cover to cover with stories and and demonstrations of what Love looks like. His word is clear:
Love is what He desires from us.
Yet,..we,....I,... still find that my actions are often automatic, bland and lacking compassion.

A life lived 24/7 for Him with pure love, abandon and devotion would be an unstoppable force.
I wanna be like that!
Lord, fill me up with love for You and others!

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