Tuesday, June 24, 2008

No Regrets

I, and part of my family, have rented condominiums on the beach of Gulf Shores, Alabama.

There have been many times here at the beach when I miss Jae Lynn, but it is not the overwhelming feeling of loss like it has been in the past. Just the feeling of sadness that is my normal.

Familiar pain.

Everyone has some type of it.
Maybe it is from having lost someone.
Maybe it is from family "issues".
Maybe it is financial.
Physical illness.
Mental illness.
Other hurts we just don't talk much about because it has become our "normal".

Here's the deal: No matter where we all go,.whether it is to Wal-Mart or to the beach,....we all take all drag our baggage along with us. It's a way of life for all of us. Some days we are good baggage handlers and some days we aren't.
We tend to get impatient with each other, don't we? Especially those that we love.

Vacations though, are a time for trying hard to love and invest in each other.

Thousands of people all around me here,..sunburned and tired,..but all trying to catch a bit of peace, rest and relaxation. I've seen a lot of people having some good times,..but I have also seen a lot of people irritating the fool out of each other.
Don't they know that this vacation may be their last together?
I have things to say to them, but they would probably not appreciate me foisting my baggage onto them.

My family is not perfect,..but I am blessed to be connected to them by blood, marriage and adoption. I wish they were all here.
Vacations are times to make memories and do things that you otherwise would probably not do.
Casey, Abby and Ralph went para sailing this afternoon.
I am planning to bungee-swing later in the week.
Bob's family is going deep-sea fishing in the morning.
We are making memories knowing that soon we will be home and back to our duties and obligations.

When I get home, I don't want to have any regrets about our time spent together here.

Home.
When I get home.
When I get to my Centennial road home.

Well,..come to think of it,..when I get to my real home too.
Little things here can translate into big things in Heaven.
No regrets!

1 comment:

grasswidow85 said...

OH Becky, it was so great seeing and hearing you this last weekend in St.Louis. It is wonderful seeing friends and talking about our kids, even if it is just once a year. We each pick up where we left off. The beach talk here is very special to me. Last week my sister, niece and my youngest Trent and I spent a week at the beach. The winds were warm and the water perfect. I sit and watched Trent play in the waves and struggle making a sandcastle. I remember back a couple years ago when Greg was with us on the beach doing the same thing. I realized I was not sad, the memories were wonderful. My sister looked over at me with tears and said "I feel so close to Greg when we are here" The beach is one of Greg's favorite places. We were sharing it with him again, I have no doudt. One evening we let balloons go from the beach, in honor of Greg. I don't know why but when we have released them before, I felt like I was sending them to him and on this evening I felt like he was beside me watching them travel out of sight. Our last evening in the water, Trent looked at me and said "I know you love Greg more, because you worry about him all the time" WOW It takes precious lips and honestly of a 6 year old, for me to realize what I seem to be doing in his eyes. I explained to him that I love him so much and equal to my love for Greg. I then began to think about what he said...and realized, that is exactly what I have been doing, worrying about Greg all the time. Why? Greg is being taken care of by the best hands I could ask for and Trent is here and needs me to take care of him, worry about him. He is so precious. He is teaching me so much and he does not even realize it. I have always said that "A week at the beach is equal to a year of therapy."
Lee Ann