Saturday, April 12, 2008

Trusting God

This morning, Casey and I were discussing our lives and we were wishing that God would give us a few glimpses into our future. It would seem, that if we knew God's perfect plan for our lives, then we would alleviate much of our frustration and worry, and even make better choices.
We could jump right into our God ordained careers.
We could steer clear of financial pitfalls and harmful relationships.
We would seem safer, wiser and less stressed.

Think so?

What is it about Faith that makes it so wonderfully pleasing to God?
How does blind trust in Him bring us rewards?

I have pondered these questions more times than I can count. I will be honest,...there were times, when I felt as if God was being cruel to keep me in the dark.
"God, there is no explainable reason why I can't know the reason!"
"Why do you get pleasure out of my darkness?"
I bet you have felt the same way.

During these intensely horrible disorienting painful times, I felt like my name was:
Becky "Far-from-God" Russell.
I told God I loved Him, but I felt useless and weak.

My prayers usually went something like this:
Dear Lord,
(sob sob)
I don't understand this.
(cry cry)
Help me!
I can't do this.
(sigh sigh)

About 1 year after losing Jae and praying prayers like the one above, I took a personal
"Spiritual Gift Survey". To my utter surprise and amazement my number one Spiritual Gift was,......

I laughed out loud at the absurdity.
"Stupid survey", I thought.
Me? Full of Faith?
No way!
Look up spiritually puny and there was my picture.
I had never felt so useless to God.

II Corinthians 12:9 tells me that
"My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness."

Who can understand God? Not me!
But how wonderful for all of us that His plan for our future includes loving us with
perfection and
through the worst moments of our lives.

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